So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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