my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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