just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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