im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize