We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
