I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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