doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
