yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So many bounce houses so little time
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
