you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
