I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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