I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
