i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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