Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
