if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
