Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize