Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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