You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize