I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
