Betty ford says i'm here all night
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Randomize
