Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
