I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
