dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i out mim tonsoeep
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