Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize