ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my sisters under your porch take her home
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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