Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
