Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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