The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We need to get me chipped asap
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
