is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
