Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
