woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
