You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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