I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize