I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
