why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
