i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
