Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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