ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
