She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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