where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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