Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
