I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
