Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
