I am puke
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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