HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
