dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
