she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
