Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
