Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
