yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
don't judge my taste in strippers
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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