Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
