he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
