I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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