Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
