DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
