haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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