So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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