think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
