So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
