Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
