I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
