There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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