the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
